I'm starting to see the light

We all have had those days that we just can't wait to end. To say I've had a year like that is an understatement. Within a 30-day period starting December 11, 2024, through January 11th, 2025, I experienced unimaginable loss. First my dear friend Barbara to pancreatic cancer, then my 15-year-old yorkie Sergio succumbed to old age and then one month to the day of Barbara's passing, my beloved partner for over 22 years, Kal, and husband for a year and a half, passed away from a heart attack. In 30 days, my life changed and would never be the same again. I knew that intellectually but not emotionally. For the first time in my life, I was living alone. Nobody to cook for. Share stories with or laugh with or make love to. There were times that I would think, "wait until I tell Kal this" only to realize I couldn't. My family and friends were there and with me every step of the way. But in the end, when you lock your doors, it's just you. Everyone experiences grief differently, but one thing is the same. Theres's pain and loneliness. And it takes time to navigate all of it.

It's been almost a year since my last post. And today is the first day I felt I could actually write. You have to have it in you to compose and connect and I just lost it. The person that made her own pizza and baked pies and put on dinner parties was gone. My days were empty and nights too long. But something happened between last evening and this morning and I really can't tell you what it was other than I felt more like me. Like the "old Liz". Something just clicked and I felt I wanted to get back to this. Today was a big step. And I'm glad I took it!

I did get a new addition to my home and that is Kallie. Named after Kal. Shes a rescue dog, Yorkie Maltese mix and I adore her. If you ever have gotten a rescue patience is key. And that I have plenty of. She saved my life and I did hers. We're a perfect match!

Can't do a post without giving you something and this recipe comes from Margie and appropriate for the season. It's her Pumpkin Bars with Cream Cheese frosting. So easy to make. Just made them for a "girls" get together and they were loved by everyone.

Margies Pumpkin Bars

Ingredients

2 cups flour

2 tsp baking powder

2 tsp ground cinnamon

1 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp of salt

4 eggs

15 oz can of pure pumpkin

1 cup sugar

1 cup cooking oil (vegetable oil)

3/4 cup chopped pecans (optional)

8 oz pkg cream cheese, softened

1/4 cup softened butter

1 tsp of vanilla

2 cups powdered sugar

pecan halves (optional)

Preheat oven to 350 F

1. In a medium bowl, stir in flour, baking powder, cinnamon, baking soda and salt and set aside.

2. In a large mixing bowl, beat together eggs, pumpkin, sugar, and oil on medium speed. Add the flour mixture and beat until well combined. If desired stir in the nuts.

3. Spread batter in a 15X10X1 baking pan.

4. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes or until the center comes out clean. Cool completely in the pan.

5. In a medium mixing bowl, beat together the cream cheese, butter and vanilla until fluffy. Gradually add the powdered sugar, beating until smooth.

6. Frost the bars in the pan. If desired add the pecans. Cut in squares. Store covered in refrigerator or freeze.

(to print this page use Ctrl P on your keyboard)

Some new additions to the site will be coming that I think you will love and I'm excited to bring. Thank you for hanging in with me. It's a new beginning for the blog and for me.

Change is coming, yes, it is!

Liz ❤️